THE BASICS

Talk to us about where you’re from and what you do?

I am originally from Miami, Florida but grew up in a small town called Ocala. My grandparents are Cuban immigrants. Currently, I live in London. I moved here 11 years ago which is crazy to think about. I came here for what I thought was going to be a short stint and i’m still here. I met my husband here, had my babies, and built my career here. I own a fashion concierge company. I also work with brands on social media activations and collaborations.

What are your kid(s) names and ages?

I have two beautiful sons. My oldest is called Santiago who is 2 years old, and our baby is Salvador who is five weeks old.

Do you have a favorite age so far? And why?

I love every stage because they’re all so different. But I will say I find twos to be the most challenging, but also to be the most rewarding, because your child is growing into themselves. They’re giving you so much, speaking so much and their world is getting bigger. Its really beautiful and worth all of the craziness. I’m learning so much about myself through parenting. Santi has made me a badass, and the great thing about having another child is that I’m getting to relive all the stages again but with more wisdom under my belt. It may seem nuts but that’s why I want four kids, who knows. Maybe five, six? Ha !

What do you love about raising kids where you live? Do you wish you were raising them somewhere else?

I love London. I really do. I think such an amazing city. For some reason, I don't know if I'm just reverting back to how I grew up, which was a very simple life in Ocala where we had to create our own fun, rely on our imagination. Whereas in London, there's always things with living in a big city, right? I want to give my kids a whole different experience in culture. We've been thinking of maybe moving to Spain, to Madrid where we have a lot of family. In London, we have so many friends that have become our family, but I’m excited about the idea of immersing them in [their] Spanish culture. It’s part of who they are.

Can you walk us through a typical day for you and your family? (the morning routine, drop off, work, etc.)

I think we're just ad hocking it because we obviously have a newborn. So right now there’s no “typical day”, every day changes. My husband, Carlos, and I are tag-teaming really well at the moment, so if I'm up late with the baby, Carlos is the one to wake up early with Santi, go downstairs, make breakfast, keeping him busy. In the meantime, I'm either breastfeeding Salvador or just catching up on a bit of sleep and then by 8:30, I'm down there with them, and we'll either go all together to the playroom and hang out together, unless Santi has an activity to go to, like soccer or swim or music class. Depending on who is with Santi that morning, one of us will take him to his activity. Then we’re home, having lunch around 12:30pm, and Salvador is either on my boob or sleeping on me, one or the other. There's no plan there. Schedule. With number two, it's whenever they can get what they can get at this point. Santi will take his afternoon nap for 3.5 hrs which is the greatest gift he could give us, LOL. That time is spent giving Salvador my undivided attention, loving on him, giving him a manicure, whatever. In the afternoons, we’ve been going on little walks with the boys to the garden by us, or sometimes we’ll go to the pub for what we call “premio” (prize or treat in Spanish), which is usually french fries.

And then we'll come home, we'll do dinner. Dinner either goes really super well or doesn't. Depends on the night, either it’s amazing and we're all sat down to eat together, or it’s total chaos. Then we’ll divide up bath time since they can’t bathe together yet, I’ll bathe one of the boys and Carlos will take the other. And then we’ll get in bed and read together.

What’s the vibe post-bedtime? How do you end your day? 

Literally playing catch up. The first thing I do is catch up on work, my phone, emails, everything. My Whatsapps are crazy from the day, because thats what I use to communicate with my team and my clients. Because I own my own business, I can never fully just shut off. I have to look at everything and be high level. So after bedtime is when I properly get to catch up on work or decompress. And usually, I mean, Carlos is the cook of our family, but I'm trying to be better about that. Because I want the kids to see both of us in the kitchen and it would be a thing for our family, that's important to me. So he’ll usually be fixing something up for us and lately we've just been having a glass of wine and debriefing because I feel like that's the only time that we can properly chat and connect without someone screaming for us.

Where are you finding creative inspiration these days?

I feel I'm trying to re-discover that part of my life out. Because I’ve built my business within the Fashion Industry, and for so long that was fueling my creativity, I’m also trying to re-group and figure out what I’m being inspired to do and build off of that. I feel i’m ready to embrace a new chapter of my life, once my babies get a little older, to build something even better, and use what I've done so far to build off of that. But I don't know, right now that's something I'm still trying to figure out. When I was postpartum with Santi (my first), I put a lot of pressure on myself to “come back” to my career, or my identity within my work. I didn’t realize at the time that that part of my life would naturally find its way back to me, in time, and what felt very quickly. But I was definitely worried that it wouldn’t. And this time around, I prioritize really enjoying every single second of these newborn days, and try to not be stressed about what’s on the other side because I know that life's going to come back so crazy and fast. This time is so precious and it really flies.

What does YOU TIME look like?

With a five week old, I have no idea what that is, but i’ll get back to it eventually lol. BUT! My old boss who I haven’t seen in seven years gifted me the most incredible postpartum experience. It’s called The Tenth, which I did when Salvador was three weeks old. Basically, for an entire week there was a team of people who would come to my house and bring food, take care of me, a lactation consultant that taught me different techniques, it was so nurturing. They had a doula on-call, a Reiki session, IV drips, a belly binding class, it was just incredible. It really got me on track to how I feel today. It was SUCH an honor and a privilege to have been gifted this, I just wish it was standard and automatically available to every woman after giving birth.

MOTHERHOOD 

Looking back to your early days of motherhood or postpartum, what do you remember most about it? What stuck?

After giving birth to Santi, I thought, ‘Well, that's it. I'm just a mom now. I can't do anything else.’ It felt really beautiful and I remember just staring at him and crying every day, like I cannot believe I made you.

What (if any) advice would you give yourself as a new mom?

To not rush back into everything, it all comes back. Part of who I am is very go, go go. I love being busy and challenging myself, but I think in those moments postpartum, I wish I would have known to just not feel the pressure of going back to any form of work right away.

What’s the best advice someone else has given you about motherhood?

Buy nursing bras from you! (Maria). I remember you saying “What the hell are you doing? Get a good nursing bra!!” Don’t know how or why I waited this long. I just had my boobs flapping around for the world to see. Revolutionary, really. I love these from Nudea. I may never go back to a regular bra.

What do you think is the one thing no one really tells (or warns) you about motherhood? 

Everything. I went in blind, I think. Part of me didn’t even want to know what I was getting myself into.

What do you enjoy the most about being a mom?

Seeing life through my son’s eyes, it is so amazing to see how children develop and to be the one there to guide them. Their minds are so beautiful and they develop so quickly.

What would you say is your greatest challenge in motherhood? 

I think I have a hard time with fully understanding the challenges that come with the different stages. I wish I had it in me to sit down and read a book on parenting, but I don’t have the time, I don’t have it in me at the moment. But yeah, having that knowledge so that I can best handle or know what to say when the moment arises. There are moments when it gets really hard, everyone's screaming, the toddler’s screaming, the baby’s screaming. I’m trying to speak to my husband, but I can't even hear myself think or hear what he's saying back to me. Our dog's like pooping downstairs because we haven't had a chance to take him outside yet, it’s chaos. And then five to ten minutes later, it's somehow peaceful again. So I really try to remember that every moment is quite fleeting.

What does ‘giving up’ or ‘giving in’ look like for you? 

For me giving up is relinquishing things that I was once able to do before children and giving into this new journey of life that has so many beautiful rewarding elements to it. Us women really have a choice as to what we give up, but it’s all about prioritizing what’s most important for us and what gives you the most joy.

Which values or lessons are most important to you pass onto your kid(s)?

Compassion, love and hard work.

What do you enjoy the most about being a mom?

Learning from my child.

What would you say is your greatest challenge in motherhood? 

The constant balance of all life’s elements and remembering to have moments for myself.

FAVORITE GO-TO RECIPE that your kids will actually eat?

Literally changes by the day. Yesterday’s obsession may very well not be eaten tomorrow!

COMMUNITY

What does your support system look like? (ex: childcare, friendships, mother or mother figure, bodyworkers, mentors, healers, therapists, etc.)

All of the above! I am really fortunate to have a very close relationship with my mother and mother-in-law , even though we don’t live in the same city. Having them to help guide me alongside with my girlfriends who are like family is a true blessing. I am also grateful for my partnership with my husband as we truly are navigating this together. I also can’t talk about support without mentioning my friend Carla Pozner, who is a brilliant cranial Osteopath here in London. I met her Santi was a few weeks old, as he was quite colicky in those early weeks and after just a session or two with her we saw such a difference. He was much calmer, much happier. So this time around with Salvador, we saw her right away had a session for him just after he was born. She is magic!

Do you have any favorite parenting resources (podcasts, books, people)?

My friends for me have been the best resources. I learn so much from other mothers.

How do you express love (to your children, partner, family, friends) and how do you like to receive it? (This can be the same as your love language)

Affection, communication, reliability, uninterrupted quality time together.

How has your relationship with your partner evolved throughout this journey thus far?

It has really made us so much stronger. There are obviously ups and downs, but being on the same page about how you want to raise a child forms an unbreakable bond.

How have you made your mom friends?

I’ve been really lucky that a lot of my best friends that I live close by have all had children at similar times. I’m sure once my son starts going to nursery and school, I will get to expand my circle of great mom friends.

What's the number one thing you seek from your mom friends (i.e. guidance, resonance, validation, mirroring, etc.)?

Guidance, understanding and support! And definitely Grace during certain periods of motherhood.

What does your ideal mom’s night out look like?

Free hands!

STYLE

Did your style change when you became a mother and if so, how? 

I ONLY wear my comfy pants now. And if I’m trying to make it look cute, i’ll throw on a button down, something easy to nurse in, or sweaters I can pull over, trying to keep it cute, but I'm probably wearing the same two pants every single day, and my maternity jeans still. Oh and I live in my Skims PJ set and the most comfortable high rise undies.

Best vacation spots with the family? Where’d you go, what’d you do, where’d you stay? Anywhere you’d like to go?

We have gone for the last two summers of my sons life to Sicily and it has been a really lovely family moment. We stay in the south in a lovely house and enjoy the family memories we are able to create.

RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS

Favorite last purchase for yourself?

Skims PJ set !!!

And for your kids?

I got Santi this little light up star toy for the playroom. The one I got him has music and he just loves to put it on and invite everyone to come look at it.

Favorite local restaurant?

In London, I really have to gate-keep my favorite restaurant because it’s not well-known and its a GEM! I don’t want it to become a circus. But I will throw out that we love Sakalleo, a restaurant in Sicily where we spent the summer.

Fav place for self-care?

I reeeeally need to find that place!

Ideal date night?

A nice restaurant out of the house with my husband.

Last book you read?

My sons bedtime books— he loves these two books, La Mala Pipa and Un Huevo Muy Bueno. These two are on rotation constantly. He is OBSESSED.

Something you make your kid that they will actually eat? 

Anything potato related. He is really my son.

Define in one word: expectation of motherhood.

Your love expanding, just not understanding how much.

Define in one word: reality of motherhood.

Balance and patience.

You can find and follow Bettina on Instagram here + here.

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